Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
