true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
