It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
