made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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