There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
