please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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