What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
