Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
