my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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