i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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