He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
