is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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