Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
