I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
