Your dad touched me again.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
