In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
