You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
