i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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