It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
