she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
