ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
