Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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