I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
