it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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