You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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