??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
