Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
