i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
