Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
