youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
