Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
