youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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