I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
