JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
