You really coming over, don't trick.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
