the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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