..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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