Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
