i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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