You work out of a Hotel?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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