I cockslap morals
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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