Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm having to shit out rocks
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
