My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
