Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
