He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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