If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
