he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
