i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
