Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
