So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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