You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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