She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize