he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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